Greek Chef

Location: an SUV on the way to the Sahara desert

Me: (referring to one girl's near obsession with athletic men)Honestly, laugh all you want but I never got this athletic hype. I've always preferred skinny-ish guys, don't know why.

A fellow passenger: Oh, those twiggies. They always get fat in a few years time.

Me: (mock medical tone): There's no chance of that happening to my one. I cook healthy, Mediterranean meals hummus, grilled halloumi, re fried beans with cumin, etc no fast food sillies in my kitchen

Another co-passnger (makes a genuine naseous face): Heavnes help him if he's able to eat it, I'm sure not suggesting you to my son if has to eat that stuff.

Me (puzzled face): What's wrong with Greek food????

All the other passangers (simulatneously): Err, where do we start?

Me (sad face): Now, really guys, don't be so harsh or at least if you will be harsh, please explain yourself

Passenger 1: Dry, stick-to-your-throat yogurt that you can cut with a knife. Enough said!

Passenger number 2 (nodding in agreement): And that warm, beige thing with garlic you cannot distinguish the flavors in

Me: Also known as hummus

The moral of the story: The world would be boring if we could all see each others perspectives. We just have to learn to accept each other because there will always be people with unconventional physical appearance tastes and people that will never see the charms of a brilliant, warm hummus lol

Offspring of Nursery Teachers Association

Location: A Berber rug shop

(after 45 minutes of choosing)

Merchant: Is THIS one OK?

Me: The size is perfect BUT the color is too dark. If you had the same one in light saffron yellow it would be BRILLIANT

Merchant:(brings out a rather large carpet suitable for 20 kids to play on)

Me: Errr, this one is only suitable for my mother's nursery room NOT for my bedroom

Merchant: (instead of sounding annoyed his eyes light up)Your mum is a nursery teacher???

Me: (deadpan) Yes

Merchant: OMG! Mine too! Which method? Montessori?????

Me: (to make his day) Yes!

Merchant: WOW! Can't believe it! What does she teach French????

Me: (goes in a fit of laughter)

Merchant: (eyebrow raise) What?

Me: Nothing. Don't worry about it. No, she is a regular teacher.

Side note: The laughter was generated by the thought of my mother speaking French probably not too correctly lol

The Medinah et Moi

Location: An Arab Souk

Moi: (in French) Do you happen to have burnt orange,coarse linen cushions by any chance?

Merchant: Yes, of course. However, not in burnt orange, only green and purple

Mo Well, that is no good since my wooden floors are honey brown and the couch cover is a shade of saffron, green and purple are wonderful but thy would clash with my furniture

Merchant: Are you a professional interior decorator or something?

Moi: n-

Sales Assistant (interrupts): No, she is a professional MOANER, managed to haggle me down to half price this morning (pulls the scarf hanging across my chest to my face)
THIS should keep her quiet

Moi: (makes an annoyed face)hmmm, this new garb is really giving me a new artistic perspective

Merchant: (resigning tone) NOTHING can keep this one quiet

Time Travel

Location: French

The topic of the discussion was alternative lifestyles. Avesta puts her hand up and says:

"I had the biggest embarassment of all yesterday. My father nearly crashed the car yesterday due to staring at a transvestite in complete shock!
Class: puzzled dsmayed look on their faces
You maybe wouldn´t look twice but he has values from the last century. I mean the one before. LOL

Adorable Andalusians

As some of you may know, I´m a bit of a complainer sometimes and love to go on about Andlausians being clannish,conservative, unreliable, silly, etc (which is ture to an extent) but one thing I absoutyl cannot deny is that they are freakingly FUNNY and upbeat. I witness a third strike this week (which left half the town blocked and myself barly able to get to my flamenco class) complete with chants, timpani drums, banners and hundreds of people! The follwoing conversation took place behind one such scene in a tiny bar. I went in for a quick slurp of 78% coca hot chocolate to warm up and wake up before class.

Bartender: Ojala que se acabe este jaleo con el paro y todo. (God help us, this mess with the strikes and all ends for once)
Me: (teasingly): I thought you were atheist lol (like 78% of Spaniards are according to the latest survey)
Bartender (deadpan I had enoguh of everything tone): I AM but if (jikingly) anyone will help us get out of thsi mess, it SURE won´t be the Government.
Me: ROFL

No Comment

I picked up Elle magazine to pass the time while waiting for the tram due to the fact that it was raining cats and dogs so I really didn't feel like a half an hour stroll through the puddles of Seville's city centre.

I opened the first page which went a bit like this:

One of the most prominent French fashion houses Chanel has been famous for its hats be it for Audrey Hepburn or non-celebrity upper classes. They took inspiration from:

Ascot dames

Ascot hats

Baker boys

and many, many more

However, this season Chanel has opted for something fresh, new, extravagant and daring (you can that again)! The inspiration for their newest hat is no more and no less than

THE FEZ ITSELF! (headdesk, rofl, completely speechless)
This is Chanel's newest creation (if you could call it that) which will be premiered on the catwalks of Paris as part of its Winter/Spring collection.

Now, I know there is a fine line between art, daring, innovation and extravagantly bad taste but in current Chanel's case it has become VERY fine indeed. hehehe

Lols

Most of the following jesty incidents will be from the sunny (note the irony)Seville but some from various times and places.

Colloquial Spanish class

Professor: As you may know, there are may different types of jargon: jargon according to geographical location, age, profession as well as prison jargon although one could consider being in prison a profession itself nowadays.
Class: simultaneous LOL

Professor: Standard language can be found in various authority sources and is usually correct, the only issue being that TV is considered an authority, and for a lot of people, the only one at that.
Class: LOL

Southern Shady Dealings

Location: Yoga

Me: [jokingly] those pose names are so similar I'd need a Dictaphone to remember them
N: No problema, my brother or one of my 50 cousins (lol) can get you one 1/4 price, I'll bring it over next week. (Chesire cat grin)
Me: As long as it's not his usual grey market variety, bring it on.
N: [you should know it look]: You KNOW I can never be sure about that.
Me: Then better don't
Me&N: Simultaneous LOL

Diaspora Italian Men aka Legends

Location:Richmond upon Thames College

Teacher: offering all the options one can have to build a state
G: offering all the counter solutions to prove no state is perfect
Teacher: Listen, we are trying to create a state NOT beat the state. Where did you come up with all those solutions anyway? (continues teaching)
G (facing Angela and I whisper): What does he think I was doing in Germany for the past seven years?
Angela and I: quiet LOL